I just really want to go strawberry picking and drive into the country and wander and get lost and stargaze and eventually find my way home at some indeterminate time after midnight when the stars are bright and my heart is full. 

And, I allowed myself to get emotionally invested in Gossip Girl. Why do I do this to myself? Why?

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

(with all of my heart)

So, like that Doctor Who premiere party was a super fantastic idea. Because that’s what my friends and I do when we hang out on a Saturday Night: we watch Doctor Who crowded into a small living room.

Thug life? Only a little bit.

So, I may or may not have decided that sleep was unnecessary last night and just stayed up until 5 reading Sylvia Plath poems and Ernest Hemingway short stories.

A few days ago I discovered that a theater in my area is putting on a production of my favorite musical, Next to Normal, this year. One of the characters, Natalie Goodman, is my absolute dream role, and I have know all of her lines, songs, and harmonies for about a year because I own the script and score. I vowed to myself that if I ever had the opportunity, I would go for it. I love this show and this character with my whole soul and am beyond thrilled to be auditioning later in the year. This is what it means to follow my dreams, and I think I like the way that it feels.

I shouldn’t be allowed into the drama/Shakespeare section of Barnes & Noble. It is just dangerous for everyone involved.

I just really like summer thunderstorms. There’s just something about opening my window, turning off all of my lights, and listening to the rain pounding against the roof and the thunder crashing in the distance. Occasionally lightening illuminates my room, and I catch brief glimpses of my quilt or pillow. Unlike many people, I am not at all frightened by storms; I love to sit in silence and feel close to the earth. There is something so innately human about the whole thing. It’s really very lovely.

The Tony’s are in 4 days. Oh. My. Lord. The Tony’s are in 4 days. June 10th will be the best day of the year. I’m completely serious; I look forward to it for the entire year. Also, I feel like this would be an appropriate time to burst into the “Tony Award Song” from [title of show], but I will refrain. You really wouldn’t want that.

Oh my Lord. That concert was absolutely mindblowing. Like I cannot even think in a straight line right now. Ingrid Michaelson has to be one the most talented and precious people on the planet, and I was 10 feet away from her. I own every single song that she has ever recorded and to see her perform live was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. I am incapable of comprehending what just happened.

Wow. Just…wow. I cannot even fathom my thoughts into a coherent sentence. Within the past three days I have called lights and sound for the first time with a professional crew, witnessed stunning dancing from a tiny black and white monitor backstage (I still cried), built numerous friendships with lovely people, and reminded myself that these are moments I will remember forever. Everything about the past 72 hours of my life has been absolutely perfect. It has been completely worth the practically sleepless nights and the plethora of spreadsheets and emails and documents that have been involved in the process. I have no regrets. This is what I love.

I just looked at the Bonnaroo set list for about the one hundreth time and almost cried (again). I need to go; it will literally be perfect. Camping on a farm in Tennessee for days, listening to unbelievable music, meeting new people who happen to love the same artists that I do. However, it would take an act of God to convince my parents of this, so I am looking for alternative transportation. Stowing away in a friend’s duffell bag? Sounds like a solid plan to me.

Today was the Day of Silence, and I didn’t speak a word all throughout school. I had a piece of red tape placed over my mouth, walking through the school hallways and sitting in class as I normally would, occasionally seeing another person or a group of people also sworn to silence for the day. It was quite the experience because instead of filling the space around me with speech, I was able to be fully present in and absorb the moment surrounding me. I was thrilled to be able to take part in this movement and am in complete support of safety, love, and equality for all people, no matter if they’re gay or straight or bisexual or transgender. We are all people, and that’s what matters.

(I also realized that I love the GSA at my school. I just wish I had actual time, so that I could come to the meetings.)

Wow. I am rediculously busy with numerous things, but it’s really lovely to be involved in them all. No matter how crazy my life gets (which is beyond crazy at the moment), the beauty and love in the world never ceases to amaze me. I am so grateful for books, monologues, writing, spreadsheets, and a cappella music, all of which contribute to happiness presently and always.

• College is unnecessarily expensive
• I definitely want to major in theater
• I do not like schools in hot climates (mostly because I am a northerner at heart)
• Dorm rooms can be lovely or terrible
• People who have Spring Awakening posters on their walls are automatically my best friends
• Having showers in the basement of a 24-hour library is genius
• I will never dress for anything while in school (comfy sweaters and leggings every single day)
• I will be that kid who stays home and reads plays into the wee hours of the night while my room-mate goes out and parties